Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Nuclear referral

I received the referral from Pacific Medical Group today. I’m now free to call Stanford Diagnostic Radiology & Nuclear and schedule an MRI - BOTH BREASTS, as they wrote under the innocuous header, “Description” -- as if that really describes anything.

I keep thinking I’m strong and ready, unafraid and sufficiently girded but I keep being wrong. I opened the familiar thin plain envelope with a nonchalant air, assuming it to be the harbinger of health they used to be. Ha! You know you’re in trouble when the word “NUCLEAR” is in bold and all caps.

My stomach dropped. One more gate in Ishtar’s descent to the underworld.

I'm going to take a bath. Let the hot water wash away my fear and leave me alone with my faith.

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